A New Year A New Me!

Things Im going to Change this year. I normally dont believe in new years resolutions but since this past year has about killed me and very little people were there to help I have decided the wall of protection will go up and with that some changes need to be made!

1. Smoking will cease (if you saw my lip you'd understand)

2. I will not buy anybody anything this whole year If Im not worth a phone call while Im in hell your not worth a stamp!

3. I will not give my opinion  (Dr phil gets lots of money to give his opinion) its gonna cost to get advise from this well of knowledge!!!

4. My house will come first simple as that. If you want something get in line cause if everything at home is taken care of you might be in luck!

5. Do onto others as you want done onto you, does not mean expect people to appreciate you as, much you appreciate them Im gonna work on that one this year!!!

Not So Bad

Sorry I didnt tell y'all about the wonderful cancer removal but I was tired and didnt wanna talk about that horrible cancer anymore! So my wonderful husband took me to the surgery. The Doctor first explained the procedure which was word for word what all 10 you tube videos had also told me! So they started by numbing my mouth which is the worst part because needles in the lip 9need i say more) but this place did a great job on numbing the lip up I didnt feel anything!!! But the sounds of my flesh being burned and cut are pretty hard to get out of my head!!! With the Moah's procedure they cut and check the cancer to see if they got it all and if the cells are on the move, while you wait if they didnt get it all they will keep cutting till they do! So it was 2 cuts for me and because of the speed I really didnt think they had cut that much of my lip out until they gave me the mirror! I was calm but my stomach was turning i wanted to run and cry but couldnt do that so I just sucked it up. Whatever it takes to get this out of me. I was given some antibiotics and pain pills and sent on my way oh I also had a lovely white bandage that made talking very exhausting.  After 2 days the bandage got nasty so it was up to me to remove the packing and clean the wound and that was not a fun job because there it was a giant hole in my lip 4/16th of an inch deep and the size of a nickel and thats when I broke down how the hell can this giant hole ever fill in??? Well 2 days later my lip had filled in 2/16th of inch the hole was actually healing and healing well! Im not sure what will end up killing me and I dont know if cells from this cancer are floating around my body looking for a new home but I do know that my lip is slowly healing and today I am alive and hopefully will be for a while!!

I'm Sorry but yes you Have Cancer

That was It that's what the lady from the dermatologist office said to me while I'm sitting at work at my desk on a Friday afternoon. All I could think was I'm not gonna see my kids grow up this is it they we will those adults that don't talk about their mom because she died when they were young and its to painful for them to speak of her.

OK so lets back up and I will properly introduce myself. My name is Adrienne and I was born by the sea and will always be home at the ocean so where do I live in the woods of Georgia go figure!  I wanna try this blog thing out friends have and they said it was great therapy and I post to much stuff on face book my family is really hating my honesty right now!

 My kids yes my kids the soon to be orphaned children because I'm gonna die yes those kids I have a beautiful son that has made it to 14yrs old I say made it cause I was a very immature 20yr old when I had him but its amazing what the responsibility of a tiny human will do to your maturity! Chewy is my baby he's 10yrs old and when he woke up its like he rose with the sun he had and still has a smile that is like a lighthouse guiding you into his heart! And I'm married so I guess when I die of this cancer because that's what happens right they tell you hey you got cancer and then you die pretty soon afterwards right its cut and dry you do not pass go you die OK so My soon to be widow husband his name is Scott and is complete heaven sent! I was a single mom and single mom is not a term I use lightly I was working 2 jobs and had 2 kids and no support at all from their dad it was a tuff but rewarding existence then Scott rescued us well not really rescued us I'll say He got on board and our existence was made better because we now have love, laughter and 3 paychecks! And now look what Ive done to him Ive gone and got cancer Will I leave him to raise my babies alone I cant do that they will grow up to be little perverts that will have a unusual talent for reciting cheesy 80's movie lines! So what now what ummm I don't know but like most things in my life I will make fun of the situation, I will cry, I will be angry all within usually 24hrs then I will be ok and I will handle this and Dying is not on the menu.

So dermatologist lady "sorry Adrienne it is cancer the surgeon will call you to schedule surgery"  She was a little heartless Its not like you just told me my dry cleaning had been done for over a week I need to come get it you just told me I have something that can erase me!!!! But then a peak, a ray of some sunshine the Specialist called and was very confident in the Mohs Procedure they would be preforming on my Skin Cancer that is on my lower lip it will be tomorrow at 10:30 am and I'm scared! I hate anything being done on my face and this is right front and center funny how that works! So I will let you know how it goes and if I don't you'll know yep I bit the big one!!